Last Kiss
by Everafterjunkie
Summary: I still remember the look on your face. Lit through the darkness at 1:58. The words that you whispered. For just us to know. You told me you loved me. So why did you go...? For my lovely Danci. Oneshot.


An early birthday/farewell present for my beloved _DancingRaindrops_. I find I like this story better if I listen to the song _Last Kiss _by Taylor Swift when reading :)

...

Last Kiss.

_I still remember the look on your face_

_Lit through the darkness at 1:58_

_The words that you whispered_

_For just us to know_

_You told me you loved me_

_So why did you go..._

_Away?_

_._

"Come here." You whisper to me.

It's hard to look at you properly in the dark of the night.

The stars and your headlights are our only sources of light.

But I budge over, so I'm closer to you.

It feels like we're the only people in this world.

Just two people.

Sitting in your car.

"It's been a few months." You say, apprehension in your voice.

I wonder why there's apprehension.

"I—" You break off from me, looking away.

Silence.

"It's getting late." I comment through the silence.

You smile slightly, looking a little more relaxed and I love how your leather jacket feels against my face.

We remain in silence for a little while longer.

"I wonder who invented glue sticks." I wonder aloud.

I don't know why on earth I said that.

You laugh loudly into the dark night.

"Hey!" I pout.

It's a valid question.

You continue laughing.

On and on and on.

And now I'm beginning to wonder what really is so funny.

"Why are you still laughing?"

You look at me then, your tousled hair actually messy for once.

I love it like that.

"I just ... I just love everything about you." You say softly.

Lovingly.

I can feel my own mouth opening and I replace it with a smile. "Thanks."

"I love you." You whisper.

And I'm sure that's what was tormenting you.

I look down at your car radio and smile. "You told me you loved me at 1:58am."

There's a light pink tint to your cheeks.

"That I did."

"I love you too." I say back, trying not to get the words muddled. I say them slowly. Emphasising each word.

You reach down and kiss the top of my head, your hand still rubbing my arm gently with your arm that's around mine.

"I know." You say, your voice all cocky.

And for once I don't even care.

Because you just told me you loved me.

And not even your ego can ruin this moment.

_._

_I do recall now_

_The smell of the rain_

_Fresh on the pavement_

_I ran off the plane_

_That July 9th_

_The beat of your heart_

_It jumps through your shirt_

_I can still feel your arms_

_. _

I haven't seen you in so long.

It feels like a part of me is missing.

A part I can't function without anymore.

It lands with a slight jolt and I'm off the plane before anyone else.

England's quiet at this time.

Anything but different to the loud beat of my heart.

The smell of rain evaded my senses.

The air still feels wet.

But no rain is falling.

And I step in a puddle as soon as I get off the steps.

I don't care.

The sooner I can get through the terminal the better.

And when I've finally got through customs.

And found my darned suitcase.

I race through Heathrow, sweeping past hundreds of people.

Until I catch a glimpse of perfect blonde hair.

And you're standing there with your hands in your pockets.

Trying not to be noticed.

But _all _I can notice is you.

My suitcase is forgotten as I charge at you.

You catch sight of me and open your arms just in time.

It's lucky too, because I'd have probably knocked you over.

If this were America, we'd have been hounded by now.

But we're left alone.

And your shades hide your beautiful eyes.

But I can't seem them anymore because my face is buried in your neck.

And I can feel your heartbeat through your shirt.

And your arms are held so tightly around me.

"I missed you _so _much." You whisper to me.

Everything's perfect.

And suddenly I don't care that you're constantly doing movies.

That you're constantly on location.

I don't care that your set isn't next to mine anymore.

All I care about is being right here, right now.

And I can still feel your arms around me.

Even _now. _

_._

_I do remember_

_The swing in your step_

_The life of the party, you're showing off again_

_And I roll my eyes and then_

_You pull me in_

_I'm not much for dancing_

_But for you I did_

_._

You love this.

It's what you live for.

What makes you happy.

And I love seeing you happy.

Your hand is in mine.

But you're not really there.

Your mind is somewhere else altogether.

And as the car stops outside, your other hand is itching for the door to open.

Alan opens the door for us.

And you shoot out, a grin spread across your face.

Barely ever waiting for me.

The place is so crowded.

Lights flashing in every direction.

Paparazzi yelling instructions at us.

And I reclaim your hand, but you claim the lead.

Pulling us in the direction of an interviewer you know well.

I love the swing in your step as you almost break into a jog to get there.

You're showing off.

Showing me off.

Even though it's degrading and gets under my skin.

I remain quiet, rolling my eyes.

Smiling politely.

Posing for photos.

Supporting you.

You catch me rolling my eyes.

And you pull me to you by the hand.

Twirling me around under your arm.

And some fan starts playing a song from their phone.

And I dance with you.

In the cold winter air of New York at your newest premiere.

I'm terrible.

Probably the worst dancer ever.

And I'm probably embarrassing you.

But you don't seem to mind.

Neither does our audience of thousands.

All screaming our names a million times.

All flashing cameras in our faces.

All in awe.

But I'm more in awe than every single one of them.

Because of you.

.

_Because I love your handshake_

_Me and my father_

_I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets_

_How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something_

_There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions_

_._

When you found out what happened, you wanted to kill him.

But I begged you not to.

And you listened.

I'm nervous.

So nervous.

I haven't seen him in years.

But you hold my hand tightly the whole plane ride.

You don't complain once about how Wisconsin was nothing to Hollywood.

Not like the first time.

And when we approach him.

Me and my Dad remain silent.

But you save me.

You reach your hand forward, with a hopeful smile.

"I'm Chad." You say, your voice warm.

I've never loved you so much.

You broke the ice.

And now things don't seem so awkward.

Things seem _fine_.

_You _made it fine.

We walk to his car.

You with your hands in your jean pockets.

And I've never wanted to kiss you so much.

My Dad's up in front.

My suitcase in his hand.

And I never thought I'd see the day.

And without you I wouldn't have.

I grab your arm and stop us.

And I can see some girls getting out their phones.

Getting ready to pounce on us.

But I ignore them.

I ignore the whole world but you.

"Chad, you have no idea—"

And you kiss me.

Your soft lips to mine.

You know I hate being interrupted.

But as long as no one interrupts _this_.

I really don't care.

_._

_So I'll watch you live in pictures like I used to watch you sleep_

_And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe_

_And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are_

_Hope it's nice where you are_

_._

It was the 4th of July.

I can remember that clearly.

I don't know why I even look.

But my computer just calls out to me.

Just _tells _me to google our names.

And there's a picture of you and me.

Your arm securely around me.

And I can almost _feel _it now.

Your mouth pressing softly to my jaw.

The fireworks lighting up the sky.

I can just feel the electricity running through me.

How it did that night.

I bet you don't even remember it.

I bet you don't remember that precise moment when we bumped heads as I turned to tell you I _loved _the green firework the best.

I bet you don't remember how I spilt frozen yoghurt down the front of my dress and had to wear your jacket for the rest of the night.

I know you're not looking at pictures of us like I am.

But I can feel myself forgetting you.

Forgetting what colour shirt you were wearing when we went to my mom's wedding.

I have to keep looking at the pictures.

Just to remember.

To hold onto you.

But with the flood of memories.

Comes the flood of pain.

And I don't know if the memories are worth the pain.

I don't want to see anyone.

At all.

But I see our friends.

The ones who haven't taken sides.

And they try not to mention you.

To spare me the pain.

But all I want to know is if you're okay.

Because the only pictures I can look at on the internet are of you and I.

Not what you're doing right now.

Or who you're with right now.

I just need to know that you're okay.

That's all.

Not who's _making_ you okay.

And I wonder, if you're sitting there, with your phone in your hand, staring at my phone number like I am yours.

_Are you sure you want to delete Chad? _

_Yes. No. _

No.

I don't want to.

And so I leave your number on my phone.

Knowing that you probably won't call me.

But the slight chance that you might, means I can't ever delete it.

I can't ever delete you, Chad.

.

_And I hope the sun shines_

_And it's a beautiful day_

_And something reminds you_

_You wish you had stayed_

_You can plan for a change in weather and town_

_But I never planned on you changing your mind_

_._

I hope it's sunny where you are.

Maybe if it is, it will remind you of me.

Of my name.

I'm sure you probably wouldn't even make the connection anymore.

It has been weeks.

But I still think of it _every_ day.

The moment I let you go.

The moment you didn't even try to stop me.

I hope somewhere in the world, someone spills frozen yoghurt down themselves.

And when you see it.

You think of me.

And wish you could see me again.

Like I wish I could see you every day.

If it sunny and you are thinking of me.

You _could_ come back to me.

Or you could go to another town where's it raining.

I know you'd probably rather be in rain.

Just like I'd rather be under a tree when lightning strikes than see you with another girl.

I wish you'd never changed your mind.

Because the thought of us not being together never entered my head.

I wasn't ready to let you go.

I wouldn't have been ready even if I did know.

.

_So I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is that_

_I don't know how to be something you miss_

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

_._

You left your shirt here.

Hanging in my closet.

And I never wash it.

I don't _ever_ want to get rid of your smell.

So I slip off my blouse, and slip on your shirt.

And I smell the collar.

It smells _just _like you.

Like you're standing before me.

Like I'm still hugging you at Heathrow.

I don't know how to be without you.

How to be something in your past.

How to be something you miss.

"You seriously think I should give up this movie?"

I can still _hear _your voice.

"Doesn't my career matter to you?"

I can't _believe _you ever said that.

"Don't _I_ matter to you?" I counter.

You look taken aback.

Shocked even.

And I can't help the hate that rises up within me.

"Do you think I _like _it? Waiting around for you. Never knowing when you'll be back for dinner?"

You remain silent.

And I _wish _I could go back in time.

To stop myself.

"I _hate _it! I hate the fact you think more about your career than me! I hate that you use me for publicity. I hate that you used your stunt double to go on dates with me when we were kids! I hate the way you lie to me all the time! I hate the way you flirt with your co-stars! And you know what? I really hate you right now!"

"Is that really how you feel?"

Your voice is hoarse.

Broken.

And I nod through tears.

"Why are you even with me then?"

"You tell me." I say spitefully.

You shrug.

No emotion on your face.

"I'm going to leave now. And if you love me. You'll choose me over your job. You'll come after me."

I take you hand in mine and press my lips lightly to yours.

For just a few seconds.

Until I force myself to pull away.

And I force myself to open my eyes.

"Come after me Chad."

You never did.

I shouldn't have expected you to.

And that was our last kiss.

I never thought that's how we would end.

Sonny and Chad: The Invincible.

Only death would part them!

Apparently not.

Apparently my stupidity would.

And it was you.

You.

You're the one I'll _always _want.

_Always _need.

_Always _love.

C h a d .

The name that will always be on my lips.

Written across my heart.

Like a tattoo.

That no surgery could remove.

I never thought we'd have a last kiss.

.

_Just like our last kiss_

_Forever the name on my lips_

_Forever the name on my lips_

_Just like our last._

_..._

Review maybe? :) I also have a tumblr now: Everafterjunkie .tumblr .com (take out spaces). And spare a thought to my grandad of his 87th birthday, he's in hospital right now. Pray for him :)


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